Have you ever tried to help God? Blog
Have you ever tried to help God? Boy have I... lol Have you ever found yourself doing the same? It might be with a family member or even a friend. What about at your church or in a work environment. Although it is true that God uses people it has taken me years to find out that sometimes He simply wants me to leave something in His hands. There are things that He will share with me or talk to me about and He tells me He wants me involved but then there are also times when they are beyond me, and I cannot fix them. I want so much to repair a relationship but cannot seem to repair the breach. I cannot turn the heart of another person only God holds the heart of a king in His hands (Proverbs 21.1). I cannot open their eyes or ears to see in the spirit, God even does that (2 Kings 6:17). I can only be fully committed to inclining my ear (Proverbs 4:20) to listen to what my Father is saying.
Some time ago I received an email from a subscriber asking if I would add her daughter to my mailing list because she really wanted her daughter to see what the Lord was doing but her daughter hadn't really been following the Lord much. Adding a new subscriber sounds awesome. Who doesn't want their subscriber list to grow right? Well, that isn't the way the Newsletter service works. I am not able anymore to add email addresses. People have to subscribe for themselves. I've been through a lot lately with having two of our adult children leave angrily back in November of 2023 saying they never wanted to be raised Christians amongst other things and didn't want to see us (meaning my husband and I) anymore. I actually thought things were getting better when a few months ago they finally showed up and visited but instead somehow things got worse to the point where I received a horrible email yesterday that really broke my heart. After 8 months of praying for them and thinking things were on the mend, this morning, I did something that might surprise everyone but I'm a pretty transparent person so I hope you will understand that I truly believe this is God's answer for me right now. So, try to read this with your spirit and not just your mind.
Do We Understand
- Do we understand that our children are blessed because we walk in generational blessings and therefore, they partake in that?
- Do we understand that there are times just like in the story of the prodigal where we have to just let them go and let them live the life they choose even if it means losing all their money, their friends, their lifestyle and eventually leads to a pig pen?
- Do we understand that our prayers are holding them up, strengthening them and keeping them protected and yet they don't even know, care or acknowledge that at all?
- Do we understand that God really wants us to trust that NOTHING is impossible for Him and that He is well able to lead them back to Him, back to living a life in Christ, back to learning that we've all sinned and fallen short, and that God willingly gives each of us forgiveness and a new start?
- Do we understand that He is the one who formed them in our bellies (women of course) and that He knows the number of hairs upon their head and also puts their tears in a jar?
- Do we understand that God loves our kids, families, friends and even co-workers more than we ever could and that His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts?
It is so easy to slip into that 'I need to help God' mode with people but we forget that He is the one who will send laborers into the harvest. He will even use us as laborers for some but for those who refuse to hear us there are times when you literally have to take a step back and allow some things to happen in their life. If you are completely covering them in prayer, they don't even know what real life is like. They are walking in blessing and don't know that sometimes especially if they have walked away from the Lord their lives haven't changed much because you and I continue to hold them up so at times we have to 'tough love' people and let them live on their own and see what their life will really be like without the Lord. Not because you want to, in fact you don't but because you love them you must care for their soul more than your own needs and wants. Let me share a difficult scripture... Yes, before you get offended, I do already know why there was a need for this in their day.
1 Corinthians 5:5 NLV
Then you must throw this man out and hand him over to Satan so that his sinful nature will be destroyed and he himself will be saved on the day the Lord returns.
I also found the Message translation interesting...
1 Corinthians 5:5 Message
I’ll tell you what I would do. Even though I’m not there in person, consider me right there with you, because I can fully see what’s going on. I’m telling you that this is wrong. You must not simply look the other way and hope it goes away on its own. Bring it out in the open and deal with it in the authority of Jesus our Master. Assemble the community—I’ll be present in spirit with you and our Master Jesus will be present in power. Hold this man’s conduct up to public scrutiny. Let him defend it if he can! But if he can’t, then out with him! It will be totally devastating to him, of course, and embarrassing to you. But better devastation and embarrassment than damnation. You want him on his feet and forgiven before the Master on the Day of Judgment.
No, I am not saying my kids are in some horrible sin and I'm not casting them out of a church but if you understand what I am sharing it is that I am giving them over to what they want and who they are actually living for. They believe it's for them, but it isn't. There are only 2 ways to go. You are either living for Christ or you are living for Satan. This is the deception of the world. They make you believe you are independent and living for yourself, but your father is the Devil. It's all smoke and mirrors and they don't yet understand that. I am no longer going to cover them in prayers of protection and blessing. They need to see the error of their ways and choices they are making that are leading them in the wrong direction. In the Kingdom of God, we don't walk in hatred, bitterness and unforgiveness. This world has taught them that it is okay to hate and even hurt those that love them. Until you burn a few bridges in ignorance you don't realize that when the hard times come you have no one to call and nowhere to go and that to me is the pig pen. Coming to your senses and realizing you've done it to yourself. I certainly did in my younger years.
The truth is I am embarrassed as was in the Message Bible text. Hence another reason why I am writing this and sharing it. I am not going to allow secrets or shame to keep me from what the Lord has for me or my family. Yesterday I felt like I was going through a dark night of the soul as I had written my daughter an email asking if she and my son could come by and visit again, and she sent me the most horrible letter I've received from her yet. Most of the time she just remains silent or ignores my letters. I sat here last night writing a response and then I decided I wasn't going to send it right away because that is too reactionary, and I wasn't giving God time to talk to me. Growing a bit I guess... lol, so I left it in drafts and then I went to my room where I heard the Lord immediately say, 'just put them in My hands and trust Me.' I knew He did not want me explaining myself or defending myself or even hurting her any more with words I was trying to say. She's apparently already been hurt enough by some things unknown at this point, but God is teaching me that I don't always have to have the last word... 😓This time I don't get to. I literally put it all in God's hands and decided this morning that I have prayed over them and for them long enough. She even said in her letter, " I understand that you both want to pray and get us back, but again, I have no intention of coming back or becoming someone that you both wish me to be." All I will say about her last few words is that it has something to do with Transgenderism.
Needless to say, I found myself in tears and then it hit me that maybe in some very very small way I was feeling a part of the fellowship of His suffering that Paul mentions (Philippian's 3:10). Instead of crying over my own kids I couldn't bare it and found myself crying over Jesus. I saw Jesus, God in the flesh came down and lived as we live. His suffering for us was out of this world and so many take it for granted. His own children turned on Him, rejected Him, spit in His face, pulled out His beard, mocked Him, beat Him mercilessly. Those were His kids. His creation did that to Him. The babies that He created grew up became adults and hated Him. Obviously, I didn't go through all of that but the part for a short amount of time this morning I felt the pain of was not one but two human beings that I helped to create and love so much abandoning me, rejecting me yet again, mocking me and ultimately not wanting anything to do with me. Somehow two little angels that I held in my arms after they were born and honestly thought I'd really been there for, really sacrificed for and made sure they had everything they needed (and wanted too to be honest) grew into adults and didn't rise and call me blessed (Proverbs 31:28) as I thought they would. Somehow two of my children decided they hated me. How does that happen? I still don't understand it at all.
No More Looking Back
I can't keep looking back. I can't be kept in grief mode forever. My point is although the scriptures above were for someone who had really sinned in the church and had to be excommunicated, I believe first of all that sin is sin. They are not honoring their parents. They know the word and they simply don't care. In fact, we are up in age (our 60's) and we've both been pretty unhealthy so to leave us the way they did when their father was so ill in a Nursing Home was horrible enough but then he had to go into another one for almost a month and not even a phone call, visit or anything. We spent Father's Day & Mother's Day hoping against all hope they'd call or come by. No cards, no calls. Believe me, as much as you try to stay focused on the Lord this kind of thing literally eats at you, but I am ever so grateful that God put these Newsletters in my heart because they truly keep me most of the time too busy to think about things happening around me. I also believe that my kids don't comprehend how good their life is or how protected they are because of God and even generational blessings as well as prayer covering. They've never lived without these things and truthfully, they aren't really rejecting me as much as they are rejecting God in me. They don't like having Christian parents. Now that I have fully given them over, I am trusting that God will continue to protect them and watch over them. I did add their picture back up on the prayer page online, but I am now going to focus my attention and prayers elsewhere.
Recently, I shared that word through Bonnie Jones and literally her last line spoke to me. She said, "Looking back on the past (a fading glory), you can change nothing. But looking to the future, you can change now and the future! So, turn your back on the past and look forward to today and the future." She's so right and I received it as confirmation to what I was doing. I can change nothing. I have prayed, I have humbled myself and apologized for things I felt I may have done wrong. I have left them alone yet also written occasionally or sent pictures from when they were kids just so they knew I still loved them and remembered that at one time they actually smiled. I wanted to stay connected in some small way and hope they always know that I am here. It's hard to say, I'm not going to look back when it comes to my kids, but we all know that we cannot move forward looking in the rearview mirror all the time. So today for me is the beginning of a new day and a new life in many ways. Through crocodile tears I actually do have much excitement before me as well.
What If?
I was reminded of Moses' mother having to give him up just completely trusting the Lord. WOW! Amazing what God did to save him and to keep his mother in his life too. I've written blogs on this before, so I won't explain that further, but I've found myself thinking about the title of this message even in Moses life. Have you ever tried to help God? I can't help but think Moses killing the Egyptian man was his way of helping God, thinking he was somehow walking in his calling or trying to become the Deliverer.
Doesn't anyone think it's odd that Moses got to literally grow up in the house/castle of the man who wanted him dead? Doesn't anyone wonder why Pharaoh didn't just rip that child out of his daughter's (some translations say sister) arms and murder him? He was the exact age child he was looking for and had his men out killing every single day. Doesn't it seem odd that he was somehow 2nd in line to be Pharaoh and he could have made so many changes for the Israelites had he become Pharaoh himself rather than running for 40 years because he tried without knowledge and understanding to do things his way and yet all he did was turn all (including Israelites) against him. Obviously, it is a 'But God' story, but I've often wondered if it was really God's plan for Moses to be in the desert for 40 years or was that yet another delay for the children of Israel because he tried to 'Help God' and ended up killing a man. 'What if' he'd just stayed, learned about his heritage, waited for the Pharaoh to die and took over and had the opportunity to change everything as a Pharaoh himself? I have tried to help God far too many times so this is a new learning curve for me. Pray!
What about Joseph? God blessed him with several dreams but imagine going through what he went through. He lost his mother, and 10 of his brothers hated him so much that they were literally willing to kill him. Obviously, that wasn't God's plan for Joseph. He'd already been shown his future but at the age of 16 Joseph must have been devastated to be so rejected, mocked, ridiculed and probably abused by them. All he had was a few dreams to hang onto for years. I've heard it preached that the brothers wanted him dead but God's intervention in that horrible situation was turning one of the brothers' hearts and saying, 'hey, let's just sell him' leaving him alive to fulfill the destiny God had for him. Because man has free will God does let us go our own way and sometimes others get in the way as did Moses or Joseph's brothers, but we can always know for a surety that God will intervene but most often it doesn't look or feel like that when it is happening to us. We don't even want to imagine a 'what if' for Joseph because in his, the brothers would have killed him. It does give you a new perspective on Potiphar's House and the prison though. Hardships build character and in many build faith as well. God got Joseph to Egypt in a way no one could have imagined. This is why Joseph was able to say to his brothers, 'Don't be angry with yourselves, it was God who sent me' many years later. Joseph understood that God never let go of him and that God was every single day making a way where there seemed to be no way.
Deep Darkness
Getting back to the subscriber who wanted me to subscribe her daughter to my mailings. She wanted her daughter to see what she saw, read what she was reading, hear what she was hearing the Lord say. An amazing blessing to me that she felt as she did about my mailings. She's a mom and just like me she wants her child to have a close relationship with the Lord. We want our friends, family and all around us to know what we have. To feel what we feel. To walk in freedom, love, forgiveness, joy and peace. We see what is happening around us and we understand how terrifying it must be for people who aren't really hearing what the Lord is saying and probably have no peace in their lives at all. When I responded to her email 1 Kings 19 came to me immediately. I knew right away that God was saying, 'They simply cannot hear Me in all the noise of the world today. Wars, rumors of wars, earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes and even volcanic eruptions abound.'
1 Kings 19:11-13
11 And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. 13 And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, What are you doing here, Elijah?
They simply aren't shutting everything off. Getting away from all the noise or even turning off their phones or televisions long enough to hear Him and yet He is the only one who can save us now. Trump can't save us. The news can't save us. Our Justice system refuses to save us. Our military hasn't saved us yet. Our education system is completely woke and trying to destroy our children and the next generations. The Elites that have been exalted in front of us and our kids for years we now know are Luciferians (Satan Worshipers) who drink the blood of our children and have been trafficking abducted children for ions now. Our government is 90 % corrupt and can't and doesn't want to save us. Sadly, even the church is such a mess right now that it can't save us. This is a very real reality and what is happening in our families and even to our friends. They simply cannot hear through all the noise, and many don't take the time to consider that God can save us and wants to save us, but He wants us to turn to Him, ask, pray, call on Him and stand up to the evil, wicked agenda that is destroying our families and our nation. Do we remember 9/11? So many turned to the Lord for only a few months and then they allowed their lives to go back to normal forgetting Him again. 9/11 didn't impact us enough. WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW I believe will and is turning our nation back to God.
I know this might seem odd, but I see my little Newsletters as a help in some small way to those who need to hear God speaking right now. Through the 'Biblical' daily encouragement subscribers are getting fresh words from the Lord almost daily, I even send worship songs, and through Prophecy Fulfilled they are seeing God is truly performing His word and bringing things to pass and I share Godly movies and worship or praise in that Newsletter as well. I actually sent these to my son for over a year and in the end, he laughed at me saying no one would believe what I was writing or sharing and that the prophets are just making things up. He made sure I knew how ignorant I was for even believing this stuff. My kids simply cannot hear the still small voice of their Heavenly Father so to them I am a laughingstock. Their lives have become too noisy, loud, challenging, tumultuous, difficult and hard to deal with. It's easier to look around and believe what you see and for far too many it's simply too hard to walk in faith right now for what is to come when the Lord continues to say He's rescuing us from all this and has been saying that now for over 3 years and yet they don't see anything changing. You and I see it changing. We see into the spirit realm and are now seeing it in the natural as well, but they are blinded. Pray that God would remove the scales from their eyes because they truly are living in darkness.
So that I don't have to shed any more tears I'd better end this blog... lol I will simply close by saying I believe that my children are born again. I believe that the Spirit of God is still in there somewhere. I believe that they are protected and called like Moses & Joseph but as a mom I have to let go like Moses' mother did trusting that God has a plan and I have to let go of the grief that Jacob never let go of because I refuse to live as a beaten down victim and ruin the lives of my two other children when God calls me victorious. Jacob was forced to live that life because of the choices that his sons made but unlike Jacob who refused to be comforted I can sit in My Father's lap and choose to live life and that more abundantly. I don't have to allow the choices that my kids are making to destroy me. We named Jeremiah after Jeremiah in the word of God because of Jeremiah 1:5...
Jeremiah 1:5
Before I formed you in the womb I knew [and] approved of you [as My chosen instrument], and before you were born I separated and set you apart, consecrating you; [and] I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.
We named Kathryn after Kathryn Kuhlman even though we had Catherine's in our family already. We specifically changed the spelling because Kathryn Kuhlman was called and used mightily by God even before it was popular for women to be in ministry. They can't escape God, or their callings. They don't know how big my God is. He's definitely not done with them, and He won't let the enemy have them. Like America the Beautiful which God loves my kids belong to Him too and no devil in hell is going to keep them away from God or away from their parents who love and miss them greatly.
And finally, for those who really wish that they could get their family or friends to subscribe I am giving you the link subscribepage.io/tmpzdc. However, I do realize it probably won't happen so my other suggestion is to wait until you get a 'It's Going to be Biblical' or Prophecy Fulfilled Newsletter that really encourages you and then forward it to them. I think it's true that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Isn't that the old saying?
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